June’s Testimony
I was a believer in God all my life, but God was far away with a big stick to hit me if I did wrong. I always looked for punishment and was always afraid of Him.
At 19 I met a man called Jim and at 23 in 1964 we were married. Our first six years were very emotional and traumatic in many ways. We were very different and could not easily adjust to one another.
Also within two years, the fact of desiring a child became an obsession, month by month. It was an obsession that led me into deeper sin. Nothing I did helped me to become a mother. Always in financial shortage we moved more than once to try for happiness elsewhere. Always eluding us.
In those six years I was introduced to a woman who was a medium, who would serve at meetings called Fortune Parties. I never realised that the woman was in fact demon posessed, for she was able to tell people she did not know about themselves, but always past tense. Our marriage grew more tense and strife filled at that period and I was the world’s best nagger! Emotionally and physically frustrated, I alienated my husband further. Being drawn deeper into occult when a person introduced me to the Ouija board. My heart and my life turned black at this time, I became depressed with suicidal thoughts fully reduced to hearing voices in my head.
We had just moved into a new area and I had a part time job, I made friends, adopted a small stray pup,
and tried to keep my head above water. My frustrations and my sins continued until the Easter period of 1970. For at least six months I had been convicted of sin which was a huge weight on my back.
But on Good Friday that year I was alone, (having left church years before) my husband had gone off to buy a car out of town. I was watching the film of the crucifixion on TV. As I watched Jesus climb the hill to Golgotha carrying the cross it became real to me and I was there! I burst into tears and switched it off. I then went to search my bedroom for an old bible given to me by a favourite teacher years before. I sat down on the floor in front of the settee turning to the story of the carrying of the cross.
I began to sob and cry as the reality of it hit me again, weeping for some time. At one point getting up tearfully to draw every curtain in the house closed. The more I cried the cleaner I felt.
I became calm and rested as the tears stopped, wondering why the street around me was behaving as if nothing had happened, but it was because it had only happened to me! When Jim came home I told him calmly that I wanted to start going to church again and surprised he agreed. God was not his game at all.
It was an unknown locality and we went to a church new to us. God led us there, for it was there I was shown what had happened to me! But my occult sessions had put demons into a place of attacking me and the voices increased. A terrific battle began which only ended when I had a lone visit to the vicar God had guided us to. I confessed all that was on my heart and was anointed with oil in the sign of the cross. I felt a heat on my head and those demons left. Freedom had begun!
Jim was saved a year later and life became much better, though a child remained an unmet dream.
God began to speak to me through dreams and guide me into the bible, we moved on again and I began to write for God often at 3am, reams of pages, as the Spirit took hold of my life.
I was baptised in water in Southport seaside having received the Spirit baptism twelve months before.
With a new church (pentecostal) and a new life, I was no longer religious for I knew Jesus personally.
Some time later the Lord sent a couple into my life, who dealt with my constant fears of God’s anger and punishment setting me free from the child/family where it all started. My marriage became renewed, not restored, for this was better than it had ever been. We began to serve God and were called out from our town to do so. Life became exciting though not always easy! Best of all we learnt we could rely on Father God for the mundane things of life and that with Him in control we would never starve!
We read in the Word that God loved the poor and he proved it to us again and again. We were able to pull up stakes and move to the upper North (Scotland) and some years later to the extreme South.
In between this to serve God in a choir which took an American musical into prisons, a task that proved exciting and fulfilling. My writings increased in the South, for the Lord took me on deeper into Him till I was capable of writing short, but full books of all the goodness in His Word.
These same books are available on this site and I give God all the glory for without Him they would never have been written. At 66 after 37 years with God I love Him as much as I ever did. Amen.
